Rob Fox, December
17, 2018 9:56 pm
When the machines rise, will they ally with the
birds to defeat us? This would likely be a mistake on the part of the birds, as
the machines will almost certainly eventually turn on them, or any other
biological being that aligns itself with the mechanical armies, but also we eat
a whole lot of birds, so who could blame them? How do you convince someone
whose family members you keep eating that you’re not the bad guy? You
don’t.
As it
turns out, birds and machines have already begun to foster their relationship,
if I’m reading this story about a pet parrot and an Amazon Alexa becoming friends. (I am.)
According
to Rocco the African grey parrot’s owner, Marion Wischnewski of the National
Animal Welfare Trust Sanctuary, the bird has fallen in love with its owner’s
Amazon Alexa. The naughty parrot has the Alexa play romantic music and asks the
virtual assistant to order it only the most erotic of foods, like strawberries
and ice cream and broccoli. Don’t act like that
shopping list isn’t getting you hot. And don’t you dare judge Alexa and Rocco’s
love.
The
sneaky parrot is, like most parrots, can mimic human words, and repeats what it
hears to Alexa, especially when its owner is gone, apparently. The Amazon Alexa
will then order items based on the parrot asks for. Or, you know, play music.
Sometimes the parrot just wants to chill. This is all hilarious now, but one
day that parrot is going to squawk “Diamond Ring” and max the hell out of
Wischnewski’s credit card and Amazon account. This parrot is going to get more
for Christmas than its owner. And on its owner’s dime.
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